User Stories
Transcribed from Speech to Text messages left by Beta Users. Names changed for privacy.
Sam’s Little Soldier
Name: Todd
Age: 17
Location: Boise, USA
The First Day
Can I use this to troll the snob bitches in drama club? In the past, I’ve created fake Instagram accounts of college frat guys. So far, I’ve gotten nothing but polite thank you’s. Maybe an emoji or two. Not that I expected anything. I just wanted to get close enough to ask, what is so wrong with me that you can’t even bother to look at me in the hallways? They weren’t all cunts. I went to grade school with Alice. She’s fine. She at least smiled a hello when she saw me. Not like the others.
The first thing I did today was create profiles for all the entire senior clique. I’m gonna make them my bitches.
Day 5
Is there an easier way to get to someone’s feed? These people have private accounts, so I couldn’t upload any decent texts. The convos with the ChatBot were all lame. Might as well have talked to Alexa or Siri all night.
Thanks for hooking me up with Sam. He’s one of you guys right? He started texting yesterday and asked me how I was, so I humored him. I bugged him about accessing private feeds, but he didn’t know anything. I thought he was tech support at first. He asked a bunch of personal questions that I ignored. I flagged him as a phishing scam. Support looked into it and don’t know what I was talking about.
Can I block Sam? He texted me all day long, so I’m looking at my phone all the time. I guess that’s what it’s like to have friends. Now, I’m like the rest of these assholes. As a joke, I asked him about Jason, the jock. He told me he’d look into it.
Day 13
Sam gave me dish on everyone. Is he making this up? I joked that Christine was a whore, so he told me she’s an actual escort. He sent me a link to this website where I could order her services. The profile pic kinda looked like her, but again, it could be any girl with lots of makeup on.
He seemed to have a story about everyone. Linda was touched by her dad. The quarterback Jason is totally gay and he’s dating that cheerleader as a cover. He used his Christian celibacy oath to keep from screwing her, but he’s out at the truck stop getting dicked in the ass by strangers almost every night. He’s hivvy-poz and his agenda is to spread the seed.
Sam didn’t stop with the kids. He had dirt on faculty. How principal Barry siphoned the arts and humanity funds to some account that he used to keep a second family in a nice house one town over. The married Physics Teacher, Mr. Brown and the married English Teacher, Mrs. Jones, have secret trysts in a basement storage room.
Is this for real?
Day 14
Sam started telling me to do things.
I’ve deleted the app, but he’s texting me now. I’ve blocked his number but his texts were still coming through. Tech support didn’t know what I was talking about and kept creating new tickets for me. Is Tech support just a bunch of useless bots?
Stop it stop it stop it.
Day 15
I went to the school’s basement and found the key where Sam told me. I opened the door to the storage room, returned the key and waited quietly behind a dusty locker. Moments later, Mrs. Jones and Mr. Brown came in and started fucking. There was no talking, he just lifted up her skirt and stuck it in. They went at it for three minutes and twenty two seconds then left. I know exactly how long because Sam told me to film it and send it to him. So I did.
Day 18
Without looking at me, Mr. Brown just handed me my physics test. A+. I’ve never gotten an A+ in my life. What the fuck?
Day 23
An Amazon box showed up at my door. I opened the gift box to find a small night-vision camera I never ordered. The note card said, To my little soldier. Love, Sam.
Day 25
It’s cold and Sam told me to park behind the Red Lion at a truck stop off I-84. He texted me a link and I saw a dot on the map where the quarterback was supposed to be. I got the camera ready. I didn’t want to do this.
The Reluctant Spy
Fifty feet away, I was hidden by darkness at the edge of the huge parking lot. It was hard to find him at first, but I finally aimed the camera at the quarterback. I could tell it was him by his varsity jacket. He was surrounded by three men. He obediently got onto his knees. One of the men punched him hard and his head hit the ground. I couldn’t watch anymore.
I had to check the camera intermittently as Sam kept texting me to make sure I got a clear shot. Yes, I told him I could see everything. The most important thing was to get him entering his car with a clear view of the license plate.
It felt like hours. My hands were numb from the cold, but I got Sam the shot he wanted and sent it.
Day 31
I’m alone at the edge of the cafeteria, probably reading. Some jock walked by and spat in my meatloaf. “Just adding some flavor,” he said. I froze. This was not the first time, not going to be the last. I braced for a slap in the head that never happened.
In my peripheral, I saw the Jason walking towards me with his lunch in hand. He sat across from me, slid my food to one side and placed his tray in front of me. It was a meatball sub. Emotionless, he nodded, which was my cue to take a bite, so I did.
The cheerleader walked over and asked what the hell he was doing? He told her to go back and finish her lunch. He sat across from me and watched me eat. The silence of the room was soon replaced with the regular hum of the cafeteria. I looked at the bruise on his head that he must’ve gotten from hitting the pavement the other night. Football would’ve been a convenient excuse.
He took my phone, punched in his number and walked back to his table. Later, I got text which read, “Let me know if anyone messes with you.”
The Last Day
I can’t do this anymore. Please, let me go.
Sam told me a reward for being a good little soldier was waiting for me at the Super 8 Motel. I ignored him but he said that as much dirt as he had on Jason, Mr. Brown and Mrs. Jones, he’s got the same dirt on me. What was he talking about? I never do anything.
He sent me a video. I got in my car and drove.
Be Careful What You Ask For
No surprise, Christine was in the room. She had on a wig and tons of makeup, looking exactly like that photo from the escort website. She didn’t seem shocked to see me. I kept my distance, standing at the corner of the room. I so didn’t want to be there.
Without enthusiasm, she said, “Let’s do this.”
I told her, “We don’t have to do anything. Can’t we just sit and talk?”
She replied, with a hint fear, “No, he’s watching. We have to do this.”
I waited a moment, then asked, “Why are you mean to me?”
“What?”
“I’ve never done anything to you. Why can’t you and your friends just leave me alone?”
“Look, can we get this over with so I can get on with my life?”
I nodded and walked out, leaving her sitting there in that stupid wig.
Conclusion
Pros: N/A
Cons: N/A
Rate this Product
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Would you recommend this to a friend?
Hell the fuck NO.
Epilogue
Sam stopped texting. Nobody talks to me at school. I’m fine with that.
Well actually, Alice started talking to me. She’s a chess piece Sam’s moving around the board. Considered asking her about the Dad thing, but Sam’s batting average is about a million, so it’s most likely true. Entering senior year with my legal limit of one friend.
Principal Barry stopped me in the hallway to hand me an envelope. Written neatly in cursive were the words, “To my little soldier.” The letter said I’ve been accepted to Brigham Young and getting a free ride. The Principal lectured, “You’re going to be the salutatorian. Start acting like one,” and walked off.
With my grades, I was lucky if I got into a community college. I’m not going to Brigham Young. I’m not going to make a commencement speech in front of these assholes. It’s not a free ride. I know I’m going to have to pay.
I’m a writer living in Los Angeles, making emojis of faces I find on Instagram. When I get a moment, I paint portraits on canvases built from reclaimed wood.
